Partly Facetious: Bilawal's spoken English is the best

"His spoken English is the best."
"Whose?"
"If you need to ask that I would be compelled to label you a political novice."
"How would I know who you were referring to? I mean you didn't mention you were referring to a Pakistani national and a politician at that."
"You are deliberately being obtuse. Bilawal's spoken English is the best and it needs reminding that Bilawal spent his formative years abroad, and...wait, wait...the choice of staying out of the country was his mum's and she made that decision based on a dictator's political interests. Bilawal was too young to make that decision. And so his spoken English is good and his command over local languages not that good. I ask The Khan: do his children speak fluent Urdu?"
"I am not sure - they are not into politics and..."
"Right, anyway Asad Umar with all his qualifications from this country speaks Minglish and his attack on Bilawal's use of English in a recent address to parliament was unfair - I mean Bilawal is more comfortable with English and his audience was not the public as few outside parliament are interested in what goes on in parliament..."
"I heard The Maulana's command over English..."
"He is not a member of parliament anymore."
"OK, but anyway I watched The Buzz giving an interview and when he was asked if he would reverse the Bill that gave him extraordinary ownership of public assets just because he is the chief minister he loudly said difainetely..."
"The word is definitely not difainetely..."
"I hear in the south of Punjab it is difainetly."
"Jehangir Tareen is from the south as well and he says it like it is."
"The difference between the two is as wide as...as night and day."
"Who is night and who day?"
"Don't be facetious."
"Anyway, The Buzz reminds you of a pirate, one of his eyes is smaller than the other while Tareen has eyes the same size and..."
"The difference is that The Buzz would be a member of the pirate chief's team while Tareen would be the chief."
"Oh, to be a member of the chief's team! Tareen is sitting on the outside looking in, while The Buzz is on the inside looking at the prospect of land to be bestowed on him in Zaman Park where he can have easy access to his Benefactor and..."
"Stop, I reckon Tareen is looking in more frequently than The Buzz is allowed to and this is irrespective of any spiritual guidance as to expectations of his future delivery...."
"That may be true."